| Sunday, lovely Sunday, Jack thought. He enjoyed his day off work. They'd had a busy month, and now, finally, he was having some peace and quiet time. Jack's doorbell rang. "Oh no, what now! Can't I have this Sunday for myself?!" |
| Jack thought about ignoring the bell, but the person at the door was very persistent. "All right, all right, I'm coming!" |
| Jack opened the door and saw his ex-wife Sara. "Hey, Sara, to what do I owe the honour of your visit?" |
| "Hey, Jack, can I come in?" |
| "Yea sure, come in." Jack gave his patented side ways grin, as he ushered her into the house. |
| "Can I offer you something to drink?" |
| "No thanks Jack…I-I have something important to tell you …Something I really should have told you years ago." |
| `Wow!' Jack thought. `Years ago? Were the hell did that come from?' |
| Sara sat cautiously on Jack's couch, assessing his reaction; she couldn't help but feel nervous. |
| Jack came over and sat down, his brow furrowed with concern. He knew by Sara's demeanour that something was worrying her. |
| "Has it something to do with Charlie?" |
| "No, no...It's...Well, it's from a long time ago, Jack." Sara decided that getting straight to the point was the easiest thing to do, so she forged on, not giving Jack time to make any more assumptions. "It was when you were in the first year at 'The Air Force Academy'. I regret it so much, I'm so sorry, Jack…Can you ever forgive me?" |
| Jack gazed at Sara, feeling detached from the conversation. What was she saying, and why now? He shook himself mentally from his musing and refocused on Sara, knitting his eyebrows together. |
| "How can I forgive you for something, when I don't know what you are talking about, Sara?" The concern was evident in, his voice as he encouraged his ex-wife to complete her confession. |
| "Oh, yeah, right, sorry…You have to understand, I was young and you weren't there," She swallowed hard, lowering her eyes to look at her tightly clasped hands on her lap. She felt tears burn at the corners of her eyes as she blurted out the facts, for fear that she would never utter the words, if they weren't spoken now. "Just when you started at The Academy, I -I found out that I-I was pregnant…" |
| The room fell silent as Sara lifted her gaze and searched Jack's expressive face for understanding. He looked back into her watery blue eyes, struggling for a moment to comprehend what she was telling him. |
| "You, you...What!" Jack shook his head in an attempt to clear his thoughts, "You, you where pregnant at the time, and you didn't *tell* me!" Unable to control his temper, Jack winced and screwed up his face, as he tried to understand what had happened. "What the hell happened, Sara? Did you lose it? Did you have it? Or was it something else?" Cautious with his wording; he didn't want to say what he was thinking, which was `was there another man?' He knew that he was being ridiculous. Sara would never have cheated on him, would she? He just couldn't understand why Sara would have kept something like this from him. |
| Sara could see all of Jack's thoughts and feelings playing out on his face. She'd known this man for to long, and too intimately not to know what he was thinking. |
| "Jack, you know that you were the only one, don't you?" |
| The guilt assaulted him, as the words left her mouth. He should have known better. Smiling warmly, he tried to placate himself, although the accusation had never passed his lips. "Sara, I never thought that, I've always trusted you, you know that." |
| Sara returned the smile and met Jack's brown eyes. Knowing that he was reassured of her monogamy, she attempted to answer the other questions he'd posed. "Yes, I did have it, and no, I never considered an abortion….I gave it up for adoption." Sara's words spilled out, fast and clipped the regret evident in her tone. |
| She watched with concern as Jack's face creased with pain and surprise, he suddenly stood, and paced, obviously trying to collect his thoughts and measure his reply. |
| As he turned on his heel, he fixed Sara with a confused look, attempting to understand what she was saying. "You mean that I have a full grown child out there?" |
| He absently ruffled his hair, still struggling to come to terms with what was happening. "How could you keep this from me, Sara! I had a right to know! You must have known that I would never have allowed you to give my child up for adoption. I could have found a job, married you, and provided for the two of you." Jack was over wrought with emotion and hated that, for some reason, she'd never felt able to tell him this, especially with all what they had been through. |
| "I'm so sorry Jack, I know now that I should have told you, but I also know that I would have been asking you to give up your dream of joining The Air Force to provide for us, and I didn't want to destroy your dreams, Jack!" Sara could feel her voice breaking as she grasped her head in her hands in a vein attempt to control her emotions. |
| Jack hated to see Sara like this. She had obviously done what she thought was best at the time, but this should have been his decision to make as well, not just hers. He sat and gently placed a comforting arm around her shoulders. He felt the shudder, and a surge of regret ran over him. |
| He spoke gently, "Giving up my dreams was my choice to make, Sara, not yours. Can you understand that?" |
| Fat hot tears now ran freely down her cheeks as she acknowledged his declaration. She'd always known deep down. "I know that now, Jack, I'm so sorry." |
| Jack continued to hold her, but he needed to know. He needed to find his child. "Was it a boy or a girl?" |
| Once again meeting Jack's eyes, she answered. "I gave birth to a boy." |
| Jack nodded, as he rubbed gentle circles over her back. |
| "Have you ever made any attempt to find him?". The minute the words had left his mouth, he'd hated himself for saying it. Sarah was a great mom to Charlie. She would have tried her best for any child of theirs, regardless of the circumstances. |
| Hearing the desperation in Jack's voice, Sara pulled away, bracing herself, ready to tell him what she new. She could do that much at least. Looking back into those brown eyes she knew so well, she clasped Jacks hands in her own, holding them tight, she tried to steady him while she relayed what information she had. |
| "I've just found out who adopted him, and what his name is. I would have done it years ago, if I hadn't have thought that I might turn his life upside down. Knowing what I know now though, I wish that I had of done." She sighed deeply and lowered her eyes again. |
| Jack gently touched Sara's cheek in support, still holding her hand. "What do you mean? What you know now?" Jack's heart stopped for a moment. `Not bad news, please, I don't think I could take it.' Losing one child was enough for any parent. |
| "Jack, I found out that his adoptive parents died when he was eight, and he went from foster home to foster home. If only they had contacted us, we could have kept him safe." Hot tears splashed on his hands as she cried for the son she'd never known. |
| `But hang on a minute? This sounded uncannily like the early years of `his very own archaeologist'? No? It couldn't be? ' Jack shook the thought from his mind. He gently swiped the tears from her face, as he softly requested further details. |
| "Do you know where he is?" |
| "No, nobody does. It's like he's disappeared of the face of the earth." Her declaration was bitter and filled with disappointment, but the words lit new hope in Jack's heart. |
| "Tell me his name, Sara, and the family's name, please, and I'll try to find him using my contacts." |
| Sara collected herself and supplied the facts that Jack sought, knowing that he would do everything in his power to find their son. |
| "Claire and Melbourne Jackson adopted our son, and they gave him the name Daniel Jackson...Jac__." Stopped in her tracks by Jack's reaction, she watched in amazement as she saw a glint of recognition in his eyes. |
| "What! Did I hear you right? His name is Daniel Jackson, and a Claire and Melbourne Jackson adopted him?!" |
| "Yes, Jack, you heard it right, do you know them?" Sara was staggered, what were the chances of Jack knowing of these people. |
| Jack once again stood and started pacing. Sara could nearly see the cogs turning as Jack absorbed what she'd said and relayed to her what he knew. |
| "No, it's just that I have heard about them somewhere." Jack lied. He knew it was Daniel, but he needed time to get his head around this. Then he'd tell Sara, but for now this was his secret. He reassured himself that he was doing the right thing. `She'd kept this secret for years, he was entitled.' The hurt part of him reasoned it out, although he knew two wrongs didn't make a right. |
| "Jack, I wish the social services had contacted us after the death of his parents. We could have kept him safe." |
| "Yea, me too." The thought of someone else raising his son was like a knife through the heart. Jack felt robbed, how could this have happened to him? |
| "I'm really sorry, Jack. If I could only undo all of this, but I can't." Sara could sense Jacks bitter disappointment; she knew that in one fowl swoop, she'd ripped his heart out all over again. If only they could find their kid. Maybe some of this could be put right. |
| "I know…But I have to ask you to leave now, Sara. I want to be alone." Sara nodded and stood, a soft smile and recognition of Jack's feelings showing on her face. |
| "I understand, Jack. If you find out where our son is, please tell me as soon as you can." She knew, in some way, that she'd lost the right to expect anything from her once husband. Regretting her actions once again, she touched Jack's arm before walking to the door. |
| "I will," Jack lied again. He wanted to tell Daniel himself, and in his own time, when the time was right, and when Daniel was ready to meet Sara. Then he would tell her where her son was. |
| Jack gave Sara a hug before she left him alone with his thoughts. Tears were running down Sara's cheeks once again and Jack had a hard time holding back his own tears. |
